You can just see Rick Martinez at the sad News and Observer, gloating over the chance to have some terrorism right here in the Southern Part of Heaven.

Make no mistake about it. Mohammed Reza Taheri-azar's Friday rampage through the UNC campus "pit" with a rented SUV during a time when a bustling crowd was a guaranteed lock was an obvious act of terror. That makes Taheri-azar a terrorist.

There's no confusion here. First, there is the common-sense judgment based on Taheri-azar's own admissions and statements that he intended to kill UNC students at random in order to avenge the deaths of Muslims worldwide and get back at the U.S. government. Beyond that, Moeser should call one of his law professors and ask him or her to pull out a copy of the United States code.

Right there in Title 18, Part 1, Chapter 113B, Section 2331 is the definition of domestic terrorism. In part, the law states the act must be dangerous to human life. Running over people with the intent to kill them qualifies in my book. The act must violate either U.S. or state law. Nine counts of attempted murder and nine more of assault are slam-dunks on those criteria. The action must also be intended to intimidate or coerce a civilian population. I think most folks would find a speeding SUV randomly mowing down people at the most crowded spot on campus during lunch time on a sun-drenched day the ultimate in intimidation.

The code also says the act must be intended to influence government policy. Taheri-azar has stated his goal was to punish the U.S. government. And lastly, the act must have occurred in this country. That could be a glitch. There are days when I wonder whether Chapel Hill still wants to be part of this nation.

Before getting into the substance - if you can call it that - of Rick Martinez's xenophobia, let me say this for the record: this particular Chapel Hillian is pretty damn disgusted with this nation, and would much prefer being the Switzerland of North America. Having to share citizenship with people like Martinez is enough to make my skin crawl.

If you take the US Code seriously, you'd have to conclude that George Bush is also a terrorist. His NSA domestic spying and torture schemes easily qualify as criminal, while also meeting the criteria of coercing a civilian population (to fear) and shaping public policy (dictatorship). There's no telling how many people have been whisked away from American soil for extraordinary rendition at the hands of our Torturer in Chief.

And really, Rick, what happened to fighting them over there so we don't have to fight them over here? How could a horrible terrorist attack by an oh-so-bad-boy-in-an-SUV could possibly happen in America today when we're spending a billion frickin' dollars a week to keep the fight away from the homeland. If you buy the terrorist argument you also have to accept that the incompetent Bush adminstration can't even protect a few students on a university campus.

What about it Little Ricky? Did a real-live terrorist sneak through our national defenses? How come Dear Leader didn't drop everything and come to Chapel Hill for a photo-op?

You've written plenty of lame columns over the years, but this is your best pandering ever to your wingnut base. So thanks. I needed a little humor today.