Weekend wound up


BlueNC will be unattended tomorrow

And just to say it, none of this public policy crap we worry about matters in the Big Scheme. Tomorrow is Judgment Day and if you're one of the 5 billion human beings who aren't a member of the club, you're pretty much toast.

For what it's worth, I've been talking to a couple of cows today about the Rapture and impending end of the world. They don't care about it one way or the other.

Silly humans, making shit up just to scare each other.


By God’s grace and tremendous mercy, He is giving us advanced warning as to what He is about to do. On Judgment Day, May 21st, 2011, this 5-month period of horrible torment will begin for all the inhabitants of the earth. It will be on May 21st that God will raise up all the dead that have ever died from their graves. Earthquakes will ravage the whole world as the earth will no longer conceal its dead (Isaiah 26:21). People who died as saved individuals will experience the resurrection of their bodies and immediately leave this world to forever be with the Lord. Those who died unsaved will be raised up as well, but only to have their lifeless bodies scattered about the face of all the earth. Death will be everywhere.

Didn't Michael Jackson already make this movie?

More crazy

from the Times.

Last weekend, the family traveled to New York, the parents dragging their reluctant children through a Manhattan street fair in a final effort to spread the word. “My mom has told me directly that I’m not going to get into heaven,” Grace Haddad, 16, said. “At first it was really upsetting, but it’s what she honestly believes.”

Thousands of people around the country have spent the last few days taking to the streets and saying final goodbyes before Saturday, Judgment Day, when they expect to be absorbed into heaven in a process known as the rapture. Nonbelievers, they hold, will be left behind to perish along with the world over the next five months.

With their doomsday T-shirts, placards and leaflets, followers — often clutching Bibles — are typically viewed as harmless proselytizers from outside mainstream religion. But their convictions have frequently created the most tension within their own families, particularly with relatives whose main concern about the weekend is whether it will rain.

Kino Douglas, 31, a self-described agnostic, said it was hard to be with his sister Stacey, 33, who “doesn’t want to talk about anything else.”

“I’ll say, ‘Oh, what are we going to do this summer?’ She’s going to say, ‘The world is going to end on May 21, so I don’t know why you’re planning for summer,’ and then everyone goes, ‘Oh, boy,’ ” he said.

How is this stuff any different from Paul Stam saying he wants Christian lawyers and judges?

Jesus must be laughing his ass off.

Early reports from Europe

No Rapture yet. It's past midnight in Paris and no sign of Jesus. Looks like the French may be left behind ... again.

End times

Hey man.

Just a quick note to say it's been real ... and that I'll see you in heaven tomorrow. Or if the Rapture doesn't come, I'll be back online on Sunday. Either way, it's all good.


From Jesus Swept

“You don’t really think I’m possessed, do you?” Liz finally forces the question as they fly over southern Virginia, nearing home.

“Something’s going on,” says Frank.

“That’s ridiculous,” she says, knowing it isn’t.

“It’s not just the pelican. Or even the bracelet. What about that preacher? He said he could feel the lord moving inside you.”

“This isn’t fair, Frank. You’re always talking about what’s-his-face’s razor.”


“And now you’re . . .”

“It’s just something I feel.”

“Maybe you’re the one who’s possessed.”

“Okay. Possessed probably isn’t the best word. It’s not like we’re in the Exorcist. But you can’t pretend nothing’s happening.” He stops to gauge her reaction. “And remember. That professor said threads.”

How could she forget.

“But you’re the one who said possessed. And as you’ve pointed out a thousand times, you don’t say things you don’t mean.” She watches him fight the urge to withdraw.

“I’ve been wanting you to be possessed for years.”

“That’s silly.”

“I’m serious. Our lives have gotten too normal. This would definitely liven things up.”

“Duke wouldn’t like it.”

“Are you kidding? Between you and Rachel? You can put a hex on geriatric donors. And if that doesn’t work, Rachel could put a lip lock on them. Either way, you’d get the money.”

A flight attendant comes by with pretzels, distracting Frank.

“What do you mean our lives have gotten too normal?” Liz looks out her window, studying the spidery waterways carved through marshes on the edge of the Chesapeake Bay, squinting when the sun flashes bright off the tangled streams.

“I just meant we might be falling into a rut.” He backpedals. “Or maybe just me.”

They both know he’s in a rut, and it’s deeper than either wants to admit.

“What does that have to do with me being possessed?”

“If you were possessed, I’d have something to do. I could be your spin doctor.”

“You think you could spin me?” She doesn’t mean to laugh, but it doesn’t matter. He’s unfazed.

“Let’s say that of all the forms of possession you might have, we want to steer clear of anything to do with the devil, demons, the occult, etcetera, etcetera. Right?”

“As far as I know, it’s not the kind of thing you get to choose.”

“That’s right. But your PR guy does get to choose what to call it. Think of it like this. You go on Geraldo and say, “Hi. I’m Liz the Witch Woman Forsythe. I’d like you to meet the evil spirits swarming in my skull.”’

“I wouldn’t be the first.”

“Or you say, “Hello. I’m the Reluctant Prophet of the Silver Threads.”’

“You’re nuts.”

“I could have you on the cover of Newsweek in thirty days.”

“Okay. If it turns out I really am possessed, you get to spin me. But you’ll have to do it fast. You never know how long a possession might last. I could be a five-minute miracle. Or who knows? This could be part of the end times.”

“That’s not supposed to happen till the whole world goes to shit.”

She looks out the window again. The glimmering Chesapeake has given way to the monstrous sprawl of the Norfolk Naval Shipyard. Two nuclear-powered aircraft carriers dominate the harbor.

“We’re probably due then.”

Pow! Bang! Boom! What was that?

More Breaking News On The Missing Christians at 12:25 AM 5-21-11.....Russia Today reported that the whole Byzantine Church of Russia and it's members disappear in a Mushroom Shape Cloud over Downtown Chernobyl Ukraine..

KTWU in Salt Lake City reported that the Church of the Latter Day Saints in Utah said a large shape Saucer whisk the total membership of the Church into a large hole in the bottom the Saucer leaving a recipt for 4 million humans to be put on ice until the Alien Lizards from Area 51 decide which McDonalds in Nevada where they will be put on the Ronald kids Menu for later consumption by the Aliens..

And in South Carolina, The State Newspaper in Columbia reported that the former Governor of South Carolina Mark Sanford was missing again. A Spokensman for the South Carolina Southern Baptist Church said they had no idea where he was and could care less, and also they were disappointed that they were still in South Carolina after the event today instead of the Republican Paradise as promise by the Lord.

And finally! In Alaska the entired "Church of where it is at" disappear into a white snow bank lead by their high priestess former 1/2 Governor Sara Palin. The Alaska State Highway Patrol said the only thing that they found at the site was a flyer advertising a tour of Jerusalem by Glenn Beck for 5000 dollars in August.

Updates provided as reports comes in!

Just In! The Roman Catholic Church in Rome said today that the Pope was missing for a while, but was found later in it's deep ancient Porn archive bunker in the basement of the Vatican reading the lastest report from his Bishops why their Priests were Pedophills and the reason for it since it was cause by Hippies in San Francisco during the late 60's.

The N&O newspaper of Raleigh North Carolina is reporting that the entired Staff of Billionare Art Pope was missing along with his business interests and the State Republican legislature. The paper said rumors were floating and they were trying to verify that they were being held by the Ghost of Osama in a unknown Pakistan location as hostages..The Chief Cleric of the Pakistan Muslin Church said that Jesus swoop them up in Predator Aircraft and wanted 100 billion American Gold Coins for the them..

The Republican Tea Party of the USA was reported missing but a Spokesperson for Homeland Security said they were arrested and shot for resisting a person name Jesus who trying to take them away in a white gas cloud. He also said that Jesus was shot over his left eye by Seal Team 6 and was dead and buried at the Dead Sea in normal Christian Religious rites.

This sums it up for me

One crazy, delusional individual is referred to as schizophrenic, but take millions of them and they are the faithful.

I never meant to say that the Conservatives are generally stupid. I meant to say that stupid people are generally Conservative. I believe that is so obviously and universally admitted a principle...
John Stuart Mill 1866

Post Non-Rapture Music: Die Another Day

Some of the lyrics from Madonna's Die Another Day:

I think I'll find another way
There's so much more to know
I guess I'll die another day
It's not my time to go

For every sin, I'll have to pay
I've come to work, I've come to play
I think I'll find another way
It's not my time to go