Top 10 Art Pope Goals in 2012

I know I'm not gonna be up on "Last Comic Standing" anytime soon, and here are some of my guesses as to what Art Pope might try to get away with in 2012:

  1. Create a new charity based on the philosophy espoused by his favorite moral philosopher, Ayn Rand. It’ll be called "The Art Pope Foundation for Giving Money to Art Pope."
  2. Create a new Pro-Government Interventionist Libertarian party that better lines up with his stances on immigration, same sex marriage, and reproductive rights.
  3. Fund movements to protest the construction of playground slides which are clearly an effort to use the faulty science of “gravity” to justify extra funding for public parks.
  4. Sell discounted school board members at Roses.
  5. Fund new college scholarships for over-privileged students.
  6. Pay his politicians extra to persuade them to denounce crony politics in our government.
  7. Buy Georgia's State Assembly as a present for his friend Herman Cain.
  8. Establish watchdog organization to promote transparency in organizations not funded by the John William Pope Foundation
  9. Promote a campaign to build a fence along NC's southern border to prevent those illegal South Carolinians from coming in and taking our jobs
  10. Try and get the minimum wage reduced to $1.00 so that Super Dollar can be true to its name

Learn about how Art Pope is dragging North Carolina to the bottom at Art Pope Exposed. Read more on Art Pope here at Blue NC via the Art Pope tag.

Cross-posted from HK Activists.

Comments

Funny

and sad ... nice job getting the ball rolling.

Other possibilities:

  1. Buy a new NC Supreme Court Justice now that Bob Orr has told him to piss off.
  2. Buy the Charlotte Observer from McClatchy and give it as a present to Thom Tillis
  3. Stage a hostile takeover of Pet Depot to corner the market on short leashes and puppy treats

Things you won't see on his list

1. Mandatory drug testing for legislators.
2. Gasoline tax cut.
3. Passenger rail service to the mountains.
4. Loan and mortgage indebtedness assistance for active duty military.
5. Establishment of true home rule by abolishing so-called "local bills."
6. A constitutional time certain on veto overrides.
7. Mandatory drug testing for campaign donors (see 1 above).

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The measure of our progress is not whether we add more to the abundance of those who have much; it is whether we provide enough for those who have too little. - FDR