Republican excuses, chapter 27: Gerrymandering made me do it


You can't make this stuff up:

It’s now up to a judge to decide whether to accept the prosecution’s recommendation. And the judge overseeing the case has a history with Lewis, having been part of a three-judge panel that threw out redistricting plans that Lewis led the way in creating, calling them unconstitutional racial gerrymandering.

Howard wrote Wednesday that he hopes federal District Judge Max Cogburn can put that aside — and recognize that in many ways, that redistricting lawsuit was the beginning of a downward spiral for Lewis due to “the immense time and attention it mandated from David to the detriment of his health and farming interests."

Get that? It wasn't the guilt over what he had done; stripping the power away from voters to choose their representatives while also unfairly packing and cracking his Democratic colleagues. Oh no, it was being called to account for those actions that put him into a "spiral." And he also had the burden of having tons of money thrown at him:

His position as chairman of the gatekeeping House Rules Committee meant that he had wide latitude to decide which bills would live or die at the legislature. If a bill doesn’t get a hearing in that committee, it can’t go to the floor for a vote. That also meant Lewis was a top GOP fundraiser, getting hefty political donations from people and PACs with an interest in seeing their bills succeed or their opponents’ bills fail.

But then his farm started to go under.

Maybe his farm started to go under because he was spending too much time fundraising? Anyone? Bueller?

Quoting a Sergeant Major who I had approached seeking leniency for one of my troops who had gone AWOL for a few days: The word "sympathy" falls between "shit" and "syphilis" in the dictionary for a reason. I was tempted to ask, "And what is that reason?" but he was in a downright surly mood at the time and might not have appreciated my humor.



Pardon my language

But it's hard to relate a military anecdote without a few saucy terms...