Just when i thought there was going to be more unity

I got this email from my sister in law who lives in Philadelphia. She is the dumbest smart person I know. My response follows:

Dear Red States...

We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and
we're taking the other Blue States with us.

In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii , Oregon , Washington ,
Minnesota , Wisconsin , Michigan , Illinois and all the Northeast. We
believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas , Oklahoma and all the slave states.
We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get the Statue of
Liberty . You get Dollywood.

We get Intel, Apple and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard.
You get Ole' Miss. We get 85 percent of America 's venture capital
and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama . We get two-thirds of the tax

revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share. Since
our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian
Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of
single moms.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-
war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once.
If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids

they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose,
and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's
caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq , and hope that

the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in
Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent
of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple

and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of
America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners)
90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most

of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and
condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Harvard, Yale,
Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care
costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the
tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern
Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia. We get
Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah
was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred

unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say
that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved
in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy b******ds believe you are people

with higher morals than we lefties.

By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt
weed they grow in Mexico .

Peace out,

Blue States

My response:

This kind of crap is uncalled for. If it is so bad down here why is everyone moving here? NC recently passed NJ to become the 10th most populous state in the nation?

If you don't like it down here stay up in Pa. with your high unemployment, even higher taxes and crappy weather. If it is so bad down here how come Pa. and NJ send more students to the UNC system and Duke than any state in the nation?

Who gives more per capita to charity? Southern States

We don't have tolls and our roads are better.

I seem to remember that some of the most violent riots against school desegregation happened in the North East.

And you know what, we just went to Dollywood last month. It was clean, we didn't have to hear people dropping f bombs every second word, people were courteous, and it was fun.

Yeah things are not perfect down here but they aren't anywhere. We got our rednecks and our racists but our air is a lot cleaner and our rivers don't catch on fire.

I will finish this with two names from Pa. Arlen Spector and Rick Santorum. Two fine voices of reason from the Keystone St.

Gray

Comments

I'm tired of people generalizing the south

And these are people that ought to know better. The woman who sent this is a professor at an Ivy League school who has two sisters and a brother who lives in the south.

“We are the party of Roosevelt. We are the party of Kennedy. So don't tell me that Democrats won't defend this country. Don't tell me that Democrats won't keep us safe.” ~ Barack Obama

Agreed.

I agree wholeheartedly. Dismissing the entire region as hopeless rednecks is the last acceptable prejudice. Stupidity is not restricted to one region. People who perpetuate this myth should know better.

Proud Educated Elitist With a Poison Pen

Proud Educated Elitist With a Poison Pen

Trading away Palin and Joe the Plumber for the common good?

would take all of the Republicans left after Tuesday back to Alaska with her. Then secede.

Just kidding.* loft T

After Tuesday, Alaska will be traded to New Hampshire in a two way draft conducted by the NFL [ National Football Leaque]. New Hampshire is presently the home of the Free State Project where a bunch of Libertarians are trying to get all of the Libertarians in the country to move to New Hampshire and seize the government of New Hamshire as a independent nation. In fact, Joe the Plumber is being held hostage in the deal pending results of the election if McCain-Palin win. However, the bad news is that Joe the Plumber will become a conductor on the Grand Funk Railroad and Music group should McCain-Palin lose.

Todd Palin, Sara husband will be traded to the Eskimo midgets of the Alaska hockey puck leaque and than traded to the Russia National Hockey team and train with 4 giant Russia Grizzy Bears.....pending dining arrangments with the Bears.

Gray, I'm with you 100%

I got a craw-full of this just after the '04 presidential election, with all the blue-state people writing off us liberals who happen to live in predominantly Southern, red states with crap like Jesusland and the above-posted Letter from California.

My response:
Thanks for hanging us out to dry, folks. FYI, my county (Durham Co.) went for Kerry by a more than 2-to-1 margin. My part of the state has one of the highest per-capita numbers of Ph.D.s in the country. We have three major research universities within a 30-mile radius. The little town down the road had an openly gay mayor for over a decade and now he's on the County Commission. We have a symphony. We have public radio. We have organic food co-ops.

We have world-class museums--the NC Museum of History, the Durham Life and Science Museum, the NC Art Museum--as well as the zoo in Asheboro and several aquariums at the coast. We have the nation's premier prosimian research center at Duke University (the Primate Center). We have the Carnivore Preservation Trust down in Pittsboro.

We have multiple science fiction conventions throughout the state, we have one of the largest and most well-known anime conventions in the country (Animazement), there's several gaming clubs, we have a planetarium, we have an IMAX theater. We have the American Dance Festival. We have the Festival for the Eno. The SCA is active here (the Barony of Windmaster's Hill). The Renn Faire runs for three weekends in the spring. We have the Triangle Gay Men's Chorus. We have several synagogues, a number of Pagan groups, a mosque in Raleigh, and three Hindu temples.

But no. We're obviously all a bunch of redneck, intolerant, barefoot, tobacco-chewing racists. Thanks for nothing. As we say down here in the red states you're so eager to discard: Don't let the door hit ya where the Good Lord split ya.

I guess I'm biased.

I consider us a blue state.

"You could say, 'Look, is this guy, Laden, really the bad guy that's depicted?' Most of us have never heard of him before." John McCain, following Clinton's strikes on al Qaeda camps

Jesus Swept ticked me off. Too short. I loved the characters and then POOF it was over.
-me

assholes are everywhere

assholes are everywhere

I'm a moderate Democrat.

Those cotton pickin' regionalists!!!

Yeah, my little brother was peddling that tripe back in 2004 when he was living in California.

This year he moved to North Carolina.