If you're going to Skipstamistan, don't plan to bring your children unless you also bring your checkbook. According to the mullahs, teachers who don't work for private companies are nothing but little piggies, slopping at the taxpayer trough. In fact, the only acceptable teachers in Skipstamistan are the ones who believe that eternal life depends on teenage virgins having sex with magic ghosts. If that doesn't make sense to you, well, find some place to live besides the brave new world of the Tarheel Taliban. Because the truth is, they own this place.