When dogma rules, We all lose.

I wrote yesterday about two progressive Domestic Violence laws ratified by the General Assembly this week. Many of you were touched by the issue as a whole. I was trying to shine at least a dim light on the people who help women get out of destructive abusive or violent relationships.

In recent weeks, others here at blueNC have written eloquently about the outlandish and discriminatory 'Defense of Marriage' laws and constitutional ammendments currently being pushed by mindless dogmatic radicals like Called2Action and Fred Smith.

Those are two issues, mildly related, but independent enough that one couldn't overlap the other.

Right?

Wrong.

Today these two issues, Domestic Violence and Defense of Marriage, fell all over each other in Ohio.

The short story is this: Because a young woman was never married to her abuser, Ohio's Domestic Violence laws no longer protected her. Why? Because Ohio's Defense of Marriage law now disallows that protection to unmarried couples.

I wanted to come here and point folks to two posts at Daily Kos about this insanity. I'm not meaning to discuss either issue in detail today. I'd just like to shine a wider spotlight on the sort of unintended consequences we strap ourselves and our communities with when fear of being called bad names shuts us up ... citizens and legislators.

This is what happens when we allow the radical right to bully and run roughshod over our legislative process:

Bad things happen to innocent people.

[If any of my fingers are pointing, trust me, they are all pointing directly at me alone.]

From Patriot Daily News Clearinghouse comes this report.

In the fight to discriminate against gays and lesbians by barring them from legal marriages, Ohio voters approved a DOMA law which was then enacted in 2004. Ohio's constitution now reads:

"This state and its political subdivisions shall not create or recognize a legal status for relationships of unmarried individuals that intends to approximate the design, qualities, significance or effect of marriage."

The separate, unequal treatment of domestic violence in Ohio means that women will die - as Alicia was murdered -- simply because they did not have a marriage certificate, a piece of paper.

And from Got a Grip comes this diary; a story about a woman, her life, her choices, her successes, her mistakes, her victories and her demise.

A young woman will be buried today. ... Her children have lost the mother whom they loved and depended on. ... A terrible tragedy has occurred, .... And the most tragic thing of all is that it need never have happened, it could have been prevented.......

Comments

Greeders in North Carolina

would just looooove for our state to be a clone of Ohio. Because god wants it that way.

You're right.

In fact, if I'm not mistaken, Fredly's proposed Constitutional ammendment is worded almost exactly like Ohio's. (I don't have the wording of his ammendment so if someone could post it that would be wonderful.)

"They took all the trees and put them in a tree museum Then they charged the people a dollar 'n a half just to see 'em. Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got till it's gone? They paved paradise and put up a parking lot."

The rule of unintended consequences

Bet those good Jesus loving people didn't think of this. Wonder how many more will die before they realize that their hate of gays has those unintended consequences.

No matter that patriotism is too often the refuge of scoundrels. Dissent, rebellion, and all-around hell-raising remain the true duty of patriots.

Progressive Discussions

They're playing games

of retribution and vengence with people's lives just to get the support of some radical preachers so they can win elections. I wish they cared what their hate does to other human beings. I wish they had ears to hear what Jesus taught. Perhaps one day...

"As a man sows, so shall he reap."

"They took all the trees and put them in a tree museum Then they charged the people a dollar 'n a half just to see 'em. Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got till it's gone? They paved paradise and put up a parking lot."

That stuff only works for so long. .

When you prey on the fears of the uneducated masses, it might win you some short-term victories. But when you just use their votes to piss on them and fill your coffers, it ultimately comes home to roost.

War is over if you want it.

Dont get angry, blue.

"Get back to work."

--Elizabeth Edwards

"They took all the trees and put them in a tree museum Then they charged the people a dollar 'n a half just to see 'em. Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got till it's gone? They paved paradise and put up a parking lot."

Hate

always has unintended consequenses - especially when it legislated and codified. Domestic violence occurs in same gender couples as well, btw.

And Elizabeth Edwards' advice is the best for all of us.

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." - Gandhi

Yes

unfortunately, it does. Turns out, no matter where you go, there's good and bad in all shapes, shades, sizes, incomes, and types of people.

"They took all the trees and put them in a tree museum Then they charged the people a dollar 'n a half just to see 'em. Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got till it's gone? They paved paradise and put up a parking lot."

Assault & Battery

is always against the law.

Why does it make a difference when your stalker is someone you know.

Wrong is wrong is wrong - all day, everyday.

And yet. . .

victims of Domestic Violence are treated differently - because the assault has happened in their own home. Where are they to go? Home to their abuser? Remember, the abuser is presumed innocent until proven guilty. So - IF there is a trial, where do you go? Leave all your possessions, your children (possibly?), and live in a shelter until the trial? And what if, as often happens, the patriarchal legal system decides that he didn't really do what you know he did. Or that you had it coming. (It happens.) Then what do you do? Go home? Not so easy. And not so easy to just "leave", especially if there are children involved. And that carries through to unmarried heterosexual couples, and homosexual couples as well.

Yes, assault is assault is assault, but it's so much harder when it's domestic because of those issues, and those are just the practical ones. I didn't even begin to scratch the surface of the emotional ones.

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." - Gandhi

Yes, I Know

The wonderful 'abuse' classes my STB-ex was ordered to attend taught him how not to 'hit' but didn't stop the abuse.

It limited his physical abuse and he learned to concentrate his efforts on the emotional, mental, and spiritual. Whoopee.

Luckily for me, I'm ever so much smarter and more determined than he is.

Aye-yup.

stay strong

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." - Gandhi