either funny or so incredibaly stupid that it should be funny but isn't really because republicans are involved. Tale about a buzz kill. So, in that light let us shine the spotlight n a take off of Jeff Foxworthy and his genre.

YOU MIGHT BE A REPUBLICAN IF...

You've tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were allowed to keep more of their minimum wage.

You've ever referred to someone as "my (insert racial or ethnic minority here) friend."

You're a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty.

There is a black man in your White House and it is making you delusional beyond description.

You've ever referred to the moral fiber of something.

You've ever uttered the phrase, "Why don't we just bomb the sons of bitches."

You've ever called a secretary or waitress "Honey."

You don't think "The Simpsons" is all that funny, but you watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense.

You don't let your kids watch Sesame Street because you accuse Bert and Ernie of "sexual deviance."

Jesus said this. You simply don't agree.

"In case some one of your brothers becomes poor among you in one of your cities, in your land that Jehovah your God is giving you, you must not harden your heart or be closefisted toward your poor brother. For you should generously open your hand to him and by all means lend him on pledge as much as he needs, which he is in want of... You should by all means give to him, and your heart should not be stingy in your giving to him, because on this account Jehovah your God will bless you in every deed of yours and in every undertaking of yours. For someone poor will never cease to be in the midst of the land. That is why I am commanding you, saying, 'You should generously open up your hand to your afflicted and poor brother in your land."

Not agreeing with Jesus seems to happen a lot when you are a Republican.

You use any of these terms to describe your wife: Old ball and chain, little woman, old lady, tax credit...

You scream "Dit-dit-ditto" while making love.

You've argued that art has a "moral foundation set in Western values."

You think Birkenstock was that radical rock concert in 1969.

You argue that you need 300 handguns, in case a bear ever attacks your home.

Vietnam makes a lot of sense to you.

You point to Hootie and the Blowfish as evidence of the end of racism in America.

You've ever said, "Clean air? Looks clean to me."

Birthers and deathers are one in the same.

You've ever referred to Anita Hill as a "lying bitch" while attending a Bob Packwood fund-raiser.

You spent MLK Day reading "The Bell Curve."

You've ever called education a luxury.

You look down through a glass ceiling and chuckle.

You wonder if donations to the Pentagon are tax-deductable.

You own a vehicle with an "Ollie North: American Hero" sticker.

You're afraid of the "liberal media."

Your name is Richard Burr and you are useless.

You ever based an argument on the phrase, "Well, tradition dictates...."

You've ever called the National Endowment for the Arts a bunch of pornographers.

You think all artists are gay.

You ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch "lives in a trash can because he is lazy and doesn't want to contribute to society."

You've ever urged someone to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, when they don't even have shoes

Funny. It's so true I'm not even laughing anymore.

...and unwilling to trigger a "run on the cars".

yeah...that's the ticket.