I have a love-hate relationship with the Internet. I love it because it connects me to people and ideas that span the world in more ways than any of us can imagine. I hate it because it can reveal in me a dark edge that I don't much like. (Plus it's terribly addictive and is distracting from my fiction-writing.)
That same duality exists for me at BlueNC. Things can be bubbling along beautifully and then all of a sudden, meltdown. I hate it when that happens, and it's been happening too much lately.
Years ago I participated in a series of courses offered by a company called Landmark Education. For those who may not be familiar with Landmark, it is the current incarnation of the infamous "est training." In one of my courses, I learned there are three main sources of upsets: (1) unfulfilled expectations, (2) thwarted intentions, and (3) undelivered communications. Whenever any of these circumstances is present, upset is guaranteed. Whenever we have high drama at BlueNC drama, I see them all.
Another thing I learned is that the best response to upsets to declare a breakdown, which I am hereby doing.
We are having a breakdown.
For most people, declaring a breakdown is an uncomfortable act. They see it as some sort of failure. For me, it's the exact opposite. A breakdown is an opportunity to create a new possibility that can lead to a breakthrough. Possibilities are created through the power of our words. It goes like this:
The possibility I'm inventing for myself and for my life is the possibility of being _______
The magic of possibilities lies in filling in that blank with something powerful enough to touch, move and inspire the world. And if the truth be told, that is why we are all here. To touch, move and inspire the world with our possibilities.
Over the years, I've invented possibilities for being fully self-expressed, for being powerful, for being generous, for being understood, for being aware, for being free, for being honest, for being steady, and more. Each possibility has arisen in the wake of different kinds of breakdowns.
Another important thing about upsets is that they are grounded in past. We all carry around crap from our pasts, and most of the time those pasts gives us perfectly predictable futures.
By inventing possibilities, we have the opportunity to choose futures that are not artifacts of the past, but are instead beacons that pull us forward powerfully. That is the kind of possibility I am seeking now.
There will always be upsets. The true measure of a person lies not in his or her ability to avoid them, but rather in how gracefully and quickly we can recover and move on. That almost always requires apologizing. I apologize to everyone here for not being on top of things and for whatever I have done to create an environment that fosters upsets. I will do better.
The possibility I'm inventing for myself and for my life is the possibility of peace.