After Dark: Corporeal


Girl problems

Recent phone conversation:

Steve, this is probably going to be hard for you to hear, and you might get mad at me for being the only one who cares enough to say something, but you've got some serious issues.

Well, I think it's safe to say we all...

For one thing, you never do anything spontaneous, you know? You've got your set routine that you follow like a mouse in a familiar maze, just trotting along complacently. You never just jump up at the spur of a moment and decide to run to the beach for a few days.

That's not true, I just went to the beach last Summer.

That was in 2004.

Really? I could have sworn it was...

And another thing: when you do actually take the plunge, you stay at the absolute cheapest place you can find. The Amber Roof Motel? What the hell is that, a Red Roof wannabe?

It was actually nicer than I expected, and they were talking about getting the pool back in shape, but...

And you never splurge when you go out to eat, either. The toniest place you've been to in God knows how long is the Olive Garden, and that probably had something to do with the unlimited salad and breadsticks.

That's not the only reason, but...

And don't even get me started on what you consider entertainment. Star Trek: The Next Generation DVDs and single-player video games? Do you have any idea how sad that is?

Okay, look. I appreciate what you're trying to do, and I promise I'll keep these things in mind in the future. But like I told you when we first started this conversation, I really don't want to upgrade my credit card at this time. Could you please connect me with someone in billing?


I really do hate when that happens.

Very funny